Listen actively from "summary" of How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn
When you're in the throes of an argument, it's easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and feelings. You might be so focused on making your point that you forget to really listen to what your partner is saying. Active listening is a skill that can help you avoid misunderstandings and defuse tension. It's about more than just hearing the words that are being said - it's about really trying to understand your partner's perspective. This means paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues. Look your partner in the eye, nod your head, and make encouraging noises to show that you're engaged in the conversation. Try to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how they might be feeling. Reflect back what you've heard to make sure you're on the same page. For example, you might say something like, "So what I'm hearing is that you feel frustrated because you don't think I'm doing my fair share of the housework. Is that right?" It's important to resist the urge to interrupt or defend yourself while your partner is speaking. Let them finish their thought before responding. This can be challenging, especially if you're feeling defensive or angry, but try to stay calm and focused. If you need a moment to collect your thoughts, ask for a brief break rather than storming off in a huff. By actively listening to your partner, you show that you value their thoughts and feelings. This can go a long way toward building trust and strengthening your relationship. It's a simple but powerful technique that can help you navigate disagreements more effectively and prevent arguments from spiraling out of control. So the next time you find yourself in a heated discussion with your partner, take a deep breath, tune in to what they're saying, and make a genuine effort to understand where they're coming from.
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