Shame triggers defensive behaviors and sabotages relationships from "summary" of Daring Greatly : How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown
Shame is a powerful emotion that has the ability to trigger defensive behaviors and sabotage relationships. When we feel shame, our natural reaction is to protect ourselves from further harm. We put up walls and push people away in an effort to shield ourselves from vulnerability. This defensive stance can prevent us from forming deep connections with others, as we are too focused on self-preservation to truly let our guard down. In relationships, shame can be particularly damaging. It can lead us to act in ways that are hurtful to our partners, as we try to protect ourselves from the pain of vulnerability. We may lash out, withdraw, or engage in other destructive behaviors that push our loved ones away. This dynamic can create a cycle of shame and defensiveness that undermines the foundation of the relationship. When we are in the grip of shame, we are unable to be our authentic sel...
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