Use specific examples to clarify concerns from "summary" of Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior by Kerry Patterson,Joseph Grenny,Ron McMillan,Al Switzler
Let's dive into the concept of using specific examples to clarify concerns. When we are faced with a crucial confrontation, it is essential to be as clear and specific as possible about the behavior that is causing the issue. Simply stating that someone's behavior is unacceptable is not enough to bring about meaningful change. By providing concrete examples of the behavior in question, we can help the other person understand exactly what they are doing wrong and why it is a problem. For example, instead of saying, "You are always late to our meetings," it would be more effective to say, "In our last three meetings, you arrived at least 15 minutes after the scheduled start time." By providing specific instances of the behavior, we can paint a clear picture for the other person and help them see the impact of their actions. Using specific examples also helps to prevent misunderstandings or misinterpretations. When we speak in general terms, there is room for ambiguity and different interpretations of the situation. By offering concrete examples, we can ensure that both parties are on the same page and have a shared understanding of the problem at hand. Furthermore, specific examples can help to highlight patterns of behavior that may not be immediately obvious. By pointing out recurring instances of the problematic behavior, we can show that it is not just an isolated incident, but a consistent issue that needs to be addressed. In summary, using specific examples to clarify concerns is a powerful tool in crucial confrontations. It helps to make the problem tangible and real, prevents misunderstandings, and highlights patterns of behavior that require attention. By being specific and concrete in our communication, we can increase the likelihood of resolving conflicts effectively and bringing about positive change.
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