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Desire is not a drive from "summary" of Come As You Are: Revised and Updated by Emily Nagoski
Desire is not a drive. It's not a deep biological urge that pushes us inexorably in a particular direction. It's not a primal need that must be satisfied at all costs. Instead, desire is more like a delicate plant that needs the right conditions to thrive. It's influenced by a complex interplay of factors, including our emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences. Our culture often portrays desire as a powerful force that compels us to seek out sexual experiences. But in reality, desire is much more nuanced. It can be affected by a wide range of external and internal factors, from stress and fatigue to body image issues and relationship dynamics. And because desire is so multifaceted, it can vary greatly from person to person and even within the same individual at different times. Understanding that desire is not a drive can be empowering. It means that we have the ability to shape and influence our own desires, rather than being at the mercy of some uncontrollable force. By pa...
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