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Avoidant individuals may sabotage relationships to avoid intimacy from "summary" of Attached by Amir Levine,Rachel Heller
Avoidant individuals are often uncomfortable with too much closeness and tend to push their partners away when things start to get too intimate. This behavior may seem counterintuitive, but for those with an avoidant attachment style, it is a way to protect themselves from the perceived dangers of emotional intimacy. These individuals may sabotage their relationships in subtle ways, such as picking fights over minor issues, becoming emotionally unavailable, or creating distance between themselves and their partners. By doing so, they create a sense of emotional safety for themselves, as they believe that getting too close to someone will ultimately lead to hurt or disappointment. Avoidant individuals may also have a fear of losing their independence or autonomy in a relationship, which can further drive their behaviors of pushing their partners away. They may prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their partners, leading to feelings of neglect and dissatisfaction in the relationship. This fear of intimacy can stem from past experiences, such as childhood trauma or rejection, that have shaped their beliefs about relationships and closeness. As a result, avoidant individuals may struggle to trust others and may have difficulty forming secure attachments with their partners.- By sabotaging their relationships, avoidant individuals are attempting to protect themselves from the vulnerability and potential pain that comes with emotional intimacy. However, this behavior often leads to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, as they struggle to find the balance between independence and closeness in their relationships.
