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We often listen with the intent to reply, not understand from "summary" of You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy

In our conversations, we are often more concerned with formulating our responses than truly trying to understand what the other person is saying. We listen with the goal of getting our own point across rather than empathizing with the speaker. This tendency stems from our desire to appear knowledgeable and competent, but it ultimately hinders effective communication. When we focus on formulating our responses, we miss out on the nuances of the conversation and fail to truly connect with the other person. By listening with the intent to reply, we lose the opportunity to learn from others and broaden our perspectives. We become entrenched in our own beliefs and fail to consider alternative viewpoints. This limits our growth and stifles meaningful dialogue. When we are more concerned with proving ourselves right than understanding the other person's perspective, we create a barrier to authentic communication.
  1. We must learn to listen with empathy and an open mind. We should strive to truly understand the speaker's point of view and validate their experiences. By listening attentively and without judgment, we can foster deeper connections and cultivate more meaningful relationships. When we approach conversations with a genuine desire to understand, we create a space for mutual respect and collaboration. Ultimately, by shifting our focus from replying to understanding, we can become better listeners and more effective communicators.
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You're Not Listening

Kate Murphy

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