Truly listening requires putting aside our own agenda from "summary" of You're Not Listening by Kate Murphy
To truly listen to someone, we must be able to set aside our own thoughts, opinions, and desires. This means letting go of any preconceived notions or biases we may have and making a conscious effort to focus on what the other person is saying. It requires us to be fully present in the moment, giving our undivided attention to the speaker without interrupting or trying to steer the conversation in a certain direction. When we listen with our own agenda in mind, we are not truly hearing what the other person is saying. Instead, we are filtering their words through our own lens, interpreting them based on our own experiences and beliefs. This can lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and missed opportunities for connection.
Putting aside our agenda allows us to be open, curious, and empathetic towards the speaker. It enables us to ask thoughtful questions, seek clarification, and show genuine interest in their perspective. By doing so, we create a safe space for them to express themselves openly and honestly, knowing that they are being heard and understood.
Truly listening requires patience, humility, and a willingness to step outside of ourselves. It may be challenging at times, especially when we are triggered or emotionally invested in the conversation. However, by practicing active listening and cultivating a mindset of receptivity, we can deepen our relationships, broaden our understanding, and enrich our lives in ways we never thought possible.
