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Learn to communicate assertively from "summary" of Women with Controlling Partners by Carol A Lambert
Learning to communicate assertively is a crucial skill for women who find themselves in relationships with controlling partners. Assertive communication involves expressing your needs, wants, and feelings in a clear and direct manner, while also respecting the rights of others. This style of communication is neither aggressive nor passive, but rather strikes a balance that promotes healthy interactions. When communicating assertively, it is important to use "I" statements to take ownership of your feelings and avoid blaming or accusing your partner. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," you could say, "I feel unheard when you interrupt me during our conversations." This shift in language can help prevent defensiveness and promote open dialogue. In addition to using "I" statements, practicing active listening is essential in assertive communication. This involves giving your partner your full attention, making eye contact, and paraphrasing what they have said to ensure understanding. By truly listening to your partner's perspective, you can demonstrate respect and empathy, even in moments of disagreement. Setting boundaries is another key aspect of communicating assertively. Boundaries are guidelines for how you want to be treated, and asserting them can help prevent your partner from overstepping or manipulating you. Clearly and calmly stating your boundaries can establish a sense of personal autonomy and foster mutual respect in the relationship. It is important to remember that learning to communicate assertively takes time and practice. It may feel uncomfortable or unfamiliar at first, especially if you have been in a controlling relationship for a long time. However, by consistently practicing assertive communication techniques, you can gradually build confidence in expressing yourself and advocating for your needs in a healthy and respectful manner.
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