Domestic abuse is never the victim's fault from "summary" of Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Victims often blame themselves for the abuse they endure. They may believe that if only they had done things differently, the abuse would not have happened. This line of thinking is not only false but also dangerous. It allows abusers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to continue to manipulate and control their victims. Abusers are skilled at making their partners feel responsible for their abusive behavior. They may use tactics such as gaslighting, where they distort reality and make the victim doubt their own experiences. They may also employ guilt-tripping or blame-shifting to make the victim feel like they are the ones at fault. These tactics serve to keep the victim trapped in the abusive cycle and prevent them from seeking help or leaving the relationship. It is crucial for victims to understand that they are not to blame for the abuse they endure. No one deserves to be mistreated or harmed, regardless of their actions or behaviors. The responsibility for abuse lies solely with the abuser, who chooses to exert power and control over their partner through violence and manipulation. By shifting the focus away from the victim and onto the abuser, we can begin to challenge the pervasive myths and misconceptions surrounding domestic abuse. We must hold abusers accountable for their actions and support victims in their journey towards safety and healing. It is only by breaking the cycle of blame and shame that we can create a society where domestic abuse is no longer tolerated.
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