Setting limits and saying no is crucial for health from "summary" of When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté
The ability to set limits and say no is crucial for health, both mental and physical. This is because when we fail to establish boundaries and assert our needs, we subject ourselves to chronic stress. Stress is not only a psychological experience but also a physiological one, with real consequences for our bodies. When we constantly say yes to others at the expense of our own well-being, we are essentially betraying ourselves. Our bodies have a built-in stress response system that is designed to deal with short-term threats. However, when stress becomes chronic due to our inability to set limits and say no, this system becomes overtaxed. The constant activation of the stress response leads to the release of stress hormones like cortisol, which can have damaging effects on our immune system, cardiovascular system, and other bodily functions. In essence, our bodies pay the price for our inability to assert ourselves. Moreover, the failure to set limits and say no can also stem from deep-seated emotional issues. Many of us have been conditioned from a young age to prioritize the needs of others over our own. This people-pleasing behavior may have roots in childhood experiences where our worth was tied to how well we met the expectations of others. As a result, saying no can feel like a threat to our sense of self, triggering feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety.- It is essential to challenge these ingrained patterns of behavior. Setting limits and asserting our needs is not selfish but rather a form of self-care. It is about recognizing our own worth and valuing our health and well-being above the approval of others. By learning to say no when necessary, we not only protect ourselves from the damaging effects of chronic stress but also send a powerful message to the world that our needs matter. Ultimately, the ability to set limits and say no is a crucial aspect of maintaining both physical and mental health.
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