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She begins to selfharm as a coping mechanism from "summary" of The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith

As the weight of her trauma becomes too heavy to bear, Eden finds herself turning to self-harm as a way to cope. The pain she inflicts upon herself serves as a temporary distraction from the emotional agony that consumes her. Each cut or burn is a physical manifestation of the inner turmoil she struggles with, a tangible release of the pent-up anger, guilt, and shame that plague her mind. In those moments of self-harm, Eden feels a sense of control that is sorely lacking in other aspects of her life. The pain she inflicts upon herself is a way to numb the overwhelming emotions that threaten to drown her. It becomes a ritual, a twisted form of self-soothing that offers a brief respite from the chaos within her. In a strange and twisted way, self-harm becomes a coping mechanism, a way for Eden to survive in a world that has shattered her sense of safety and security. Despite the temporary relief it provides, self-harm ultimately only serves to deepen Eden's wounds, both physical and emotional. The scars that mar her skin are a constant reminder of the trauma she cannot escape. The cycle of self-harm perpetuates the cycle of pain, trapping Eden in a destructive pattern that is difficult to break free from. Yet, in the darkest moments of her struggle, self-harm is the only solace Eden can find, a twisted lifeline that keeps her afloat in a sea of despair. As Eden navigates the aftermath of her trauma, self-harm becomes an ever-present companion, a silent witness to her inner turmoil. It is a coping mechanism born out of desperation, a last resort for a girl who has been pushed to the brink of despair. In the depths of her pain, Eden clings to self-harm as a way to survive, even as it threatens to consume her from within.
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    The Way I Used to Be

    Amber Smith

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