Stop seeking external validation from "summary" of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A - by Mark Manson
The problem is that when we seek validation from others, we are essentially giving them power over our own sense of worth. We become dependent on their opinions to feel good about ourselves. It's a dangerous game because people's opinions can be fickle and ever-changing. One day they may praise us, the next they may criticize us. And if we base our self-worth on their validation, we will be on a never-ending emotional rollercoaster.
The key to breaking free from this cycle is to stop seeking external validation altogether. Instead of looking to others for approval, we need to learn to validate ourselves. This means cultivating an internal sense of worth that is not dependent on outside opinions. It requires developing a strong sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance. We need to be able to look within ourselves for validation and not rely on others to provide it for us.
When we stop seeking external validation, we free ourselves from the need to constantly please others or live up to their expectations. We can focus on living our lives authentically and in alignment with our own values and beliefs. We no longer have to mold ourselves into someone we're not just to gain approval from others. Instead, we can be true to ourselves and let go of the need for external validation.
This doesn't mean that we should completely disregard others' opinions or feedback. It's important to listen to constructive criticism and consider different perspectives. But the key is to take in this feedback without letting it define our self-worth. We can use it as a tool for growth and self-improvement, rather than as a measure of our value as a person.
By learning to validate ourselves internally, we become more resilient to the ups and downs of external validation. We no longer rely on others to feel good about ourselves. We are able to find fulfillment and confidence from within, regardless of what others may think or say. It's a liberating feeling to let go of the need for external validation and to embrace our own sense of worth.
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