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The desire for connection drives human behavior from "summary" of The State of Affairs by Esther Perel

Connection is at the core of our existence as human beings. It is the foundation upon which relationships are built, the glue that holds us together in times of joy and in times of sorrow. We seek connection in all aspects of our lives - with our partners, our friends, our families, our colleagues. It is what drives us to reach out, to share ourselves with others, to seek understanding and validation. The desire for connection is a powerful force that shapes our behavior in profound ways. It compels us to seek out relationships, to form bonds with others, to open ourselves up to the possibility of intimacy and vulnerability. It drives us to seek out love and companionship, to build a sense of belonging and community. Without this desire for connection, we would be adrift in a sea of loneliness, disconnected from the world around us. In the realm of romantic relationships, the desire for connection takes on a particular significance. It is the driving force behind our need for intimacy, for closeness, for emotional and physical connection with our partners. It is what motivates us to seek out love, to build a life together, to share our hopes and dreams with another person. Without this desire for connection, our relationships would be empty and devoid of meaning. However, the desire for connection can also be a source of conflict and tension in our relationships. When our needs for connection are not met, when we feel disconnected from our partners, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, frustration, and resentment. This can manifest in a variety of ways - through infidelity, through emotional withdrawal, through communication breakdowns. In these moments, the desire for connection can become a source of pain and heartache, driving us to seek out connection elsewhere.
  1. The desire for connection is a fundamental aspect of what it means to be human. It is what drives us to seek out relationships, to form bonds with others, to build a sense of belonging and community. Without this desire for connection, our lives would be empty and devoid of meaning. It is a powerful force that shapes our behavior in profound ways, guiding us in our quest for love, companionship, and understanding.
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The State of Affairs

Esther Perel

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