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Learn from your disagreements from "summary" of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D.
Disagreements in a marriage are inevitable - they are a natural part of any relationship. However, the key to maintaining a healthy and strong marriage is not avoiding disagreements altogether, but rather learning from them. When couples engage in disagreements, they have the opportunity to understand each other's perspectives better and gain insight into the underlying issues that may be causing conflict. One of the most important aspects of learning from disagreements is active listening. This means truly listening to your partner without interrupting or formulating your response while they are speaking. By actively listening, you can gain a deeper understanding of your partner's feelings and thoughts, which can help you find common ground and work towards a resolution. Another crucial element of learning from disagreements is being open to feedback. It can be challenging to hear criticism from your partner, but it is essential to view their feedback as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. By being open to feedback, you can address any issues that may be contributing to disagreements and work towards finding solutions together. Additionally, it is important to approach disagreements with a sense of curiosity rather than defensiveness. Instead of immediately jumping to conclusions or blaming your partner, take the time to explore the root causes of the disagreement and understand each other's perspectives. This curiosity can help you uncover deeper issues that may be affecting your relationship and find ways to address them constructively.- Learning from disagreements requires a willingness to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and a commitment to resolving conflicts in a healthy and productive manner. By approaching disagreements as opportunities for growth and understanding, couples can strengthen their relationship and build a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
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