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Balance autonomy and interdependence from "summary" of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D.
Autonomy and interdependence are two essential elements that must be balanced in a marriage. Autonomy refers to the ability of each partner to maintain their individuality, pursue their own interests, and make decisions independently. Interdependence, on the other hand, is about the ways in which partners rely on each other for emotional support, companionship, and shared goals. Finding the right balance between autonomy and interdependence is crucial for a healthy and successful marriage. When one partner feels suffocated or controlled, it can lead to feelings of resentment and a breakdown in communication. Conversely, when partners become too independent and detached, the emotional connection can suffer, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Couples who are able to strike a balance between autonomy and interdependence are better equipped to navigate the inevitable challenges that arise in a marriage. They are able to maintain a sense of self while also remaining connected to their partner. This balance allows for individual growth and development within the context of a supportive and loving relationship. One way to cultivate this balance is through open and honest communication. Partners should feel comfortable expressing their needs, desires, and boundaries, while also being willing to listen and empathize with their partner's perspective. By fostering a culture of mutual respect and understanding, couples can create a strong foundation of trust and intimacy. Additionally, it is important for partners to continue to nurture their individual interests and passions, even as they prioritize their relationship. Maintaining a sense of self outside of the marriage can help to prevent feelings of resentment or codependency. Couples who encourage each other's personal growth and celebrate each other's achievements are more likely to experience long-term satisfaction and fulfillment in their marriage.- The key to balancing autonomy and interdependence lies in finding harmony between the needs of the individual and the needs of the relationship. By fostering independence alongside connection, couples can create a dynamic and resilient partnership that can withstand the tests of time.
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