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A lack of congruence between verbal and nonverbal cues can create tension or confusion from "summary" of The Definitive Book of Body Language by Barbara Pease,Allan Pease

When people communicate, they often use a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues to convey their message. Verbal cues refer to the words spoken, while nonverbal cues include gestures, facial expressions, and body language. In an ideal scenario, these cues work together in harmony to enhance the overall communication process. However, when there is a lack of congruence between verbal and nonverbal cues, it can lead to tension or confusion in the interaction. This discrepancy creates a sense of unease as the receiver of the message tries to decipher the true meaning behind the mixed signals. For example, if someone says they are happy but their body language suggests otherwise, it can cause confusion for the listener. In such cases, the receiver may find it challenging to trust the speaker, as the incongruence between the verbal and nonverbal cues raises doubts about the sincerity or authenticity of the message. This lack of trust can strain the relationship and hinder effective communication between the parties involved. Moreover, when verbal and nonverbal cues are not aligned, it can also lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations. The conflicting signals may cause the receiver to focus more on trying to decode the mixed messages rather than fully understanding the content of the communication. This can result in communication breakdowns and hinder the exchange of accurate information.
  1. The importance of congruence between verbal and nonverbal cues cannot be overstated in effective communication. When these cues are aligned, they work together to enhance understanding and build trust between individuals. However, a lack of congruence can create tension, confusion, and misunderstandings, ultimately hindering the communication process.
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The Definitive Book of Body Language

Barbara Pease

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