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Set realistic expectations for communication from "summary" of The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner
When we set unrealistic expectations for communication, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We may believe that others should be able to read our minds, anticipate our needs, and respond exactly as we desire. We may expect them to communicate in a certain way, at a certain time, or with a certain tone. However, when we hold onto these rigid expectations, we are not allowing room for the complexities and nuances of human interaction. Communication is a two-way street, involving both speaking and listening. It is a dynamic process that requires flexibility, empathy, and understanding from both parties. When we impose unrealistic expectations on ourselves or others, we hinder the flow of communication and create unnecessary tension and conflict. We may become frustrated when our needs are not met, our feelings are not validated, or our words are not understood. By setting realistic expectations for communication, we can create a more open and authentic dialogue with others. This means acknowledging that everyone has their own unique communication style, preferences, and limitations. It means recognizing that misunderstandings, miscommunications, and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. It means being willing to listen without judgment, speak without defensiveness, and engage with curiosity and compassion. Setting realistic expectations for communication also involves being honest with ourselves about our own communication patterns and habits. It means recognizing when we are being passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive in our interactions. It means being willing to take responsibility for our words and actions, and to apologize when we have hurt or offended others. It means being open to feedback, willing to learn from our mistakes, and committed to improving our communication skills.- Setting realistic expectations for communication is about approaching interactions with humility, empathy, and a willingness to connect. It is about letting go of perfectionism, control, and the need to be right. It is about embracing the messiness and unpredictability of human relationships, and finding beauty and growth in the process. Ultimately, it is about fostering deeper connections, enhancing intimacy, and building trust with others.
