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Practice forgiveness and letting go of grudges from "summary" of The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner
Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook or pretending that what happened doesn't matter. It is not about forgetting or excusing the wrongdoer. Forgiveness is not a way to avoid responsibility or to deny the reality of our pain. Instead, forgiveness is about letting go of the grudge that we hold inside of us. It is about releasing the anger and resentment that poison our hearts and minds. When we forgive, we are not condoning the hurtful actions of others. We are simply choosing to free ourselves from the burden of carrying around bitterness and anger. Forgiveness is a powerful act of self-care that allows us to move forward with our lives. It is a way of taking back our power and refusing to let someone else's actions define us. Letting go of grudges is not easy. It requires us to confront our pain and acknowledge the ways in which we have been hurt. It requires us to be honest with ourselves about our feelings and to be willing to let go of the need for revenge or retribution. Letting go of grudges is a process that takes time and effort, but it is a process that is worth undertaking. When we hold onto grudges, we are allowing the past to continue to hurt us in the present. We are giving away our power to those who have wronged us. By letting go of grudges, we are reclaiming our power and refusing to be controlled by the actions of others. We are choosing to focus on the present and the future, rather than dwelling on the past. Forgiveness is not a one-time event. It is a practice that we must engage in daily. It is a choice that we must make over and over again. Each time we choose to forgive, we are reaffirming our commitment to our own well-being and happiness. We are choosing to let go of the past and to embrace the possibilities of the future.
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