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Cultivate patience and understanding in conflicts from "summary" of The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner
When we find ourselves in conflicts, our natural impulse might be to react impulsively or defensively. However, it is essential to take a step back and cultivate patience and understanding before engaging in the conflict. This involves pausing before responding, taking deep breaths, and trying to see the situation from the other person's perspective. By doing so, we can prevent ourselves from saying or doing something that we may regret later on. In conflicts, it is crucial to understand that both parties have their own thoughts, feelings, and needs. By cultivating patience and understanding, we can create a space where both parties feel heard and respected. This can help to de-escalate the conflict and pave the way for a more productive and peaceful resolution. It is important to remember that conflicts often arise from misunderstandings or miscommunications, and by cultivating patience and understanding, we can work towards finding common ground. Patience and understanding also involve actively listening to the other person without judgment or interruption. This means giving the other person the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings fully before responding. By truly listening to the other person, we can gain a better understanding of where they are coming from and why they feel the way they do. This can help us to respond in a more empathetic and constructive manner, rather than reacting defensively or aggressively. In conflicts, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly, while also being mindful of our tone and language. By cultivating patience and understanding, we can approach the conflict with a sense of curiosity and openness, rather than defensiveness or hostility. This can create a more conducive environment for resolving the conflict and moving forward in a positive and productive way. By cultivating patience and understanding in conflicts, we can foster deeper connections and build stronger relationships based on mutual respect and empathy.
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