We are easily swayed by others' opinions and experiences when predicting our own happiness from "summary" of Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert
When it comes to predicting our own happiness, we often look to others for guidance. We assume that people who have experienced the same things we anticipate experiencing will be able to tell us how we will feel about those experiences. This seems like a logical approach: after all, who better to inform our predictions about future emotions than those who have already been there and done that? But the truth is that we are not as good at this as we think we are. We tend to overestimate the similarities between our own preferences and the preferences of others. We assume that if someone else enjoys something, we will enjoy it too. This tendency is known as "false consensus," and it can lead us astray when it comes to predicting our own emotional reactions. Just because someone else loved a particular experience doesn't mean we will feel the same way about it. In addition to false consensus, we also fall victim to "surrogation." Surrogation occurs when we use other people's experiences as a stand-in for our own. We assume that if someone else is happy in a certain situation, we will be happy in that situation too. This shortcut can lead us to make inaccurate predictions about our own emotional responses to future events. Our reliance on others' opinions and experiences when predicting our own happiness can be problematic for several reasons. First, people's memories of past experiences are often flawed. They may remember events more positively or negatively than they actually were, leading us to make inaccurate predictions based on faulty information. Second, people's preferences and values may differ from our own, making their experiences unreliable guides for our own future emotions.- While it is natural to seek guidance from others when predicting our own happiness, we should be cautious about putting too much stock in their opinions and experiences. We are easily swayed by the experiences of others, but we must remember that our own emotional responses are unique to us. By recognizing the limitations of using others as a gauge for our own happiness, we can make more accurate predictions about how we will feel in the future.
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