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Comparing siblings can lead to resentment and jealousy from "summary" of Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber,Elaine Mazlish

When we compare our children, we inadvertently set them up for feelings of inadequacy and resentment. Each child is unique, with their own strengths and weaknesses. By constantly measuring one against the other, we send the message that they are not good enough as they are. This can breed jealousy and competition between siblings, leading to a strained relationship. Moreover, comparing siblings can create a sense of unfairness and favoritism. When one child is consistently praised or rewarded for outperforming their sibling, it can make the other child feel unappreciated and overlooked. This can sow the seeds of resentment and bitterness, causing tension within the family dynamic. It is crucial for parents to recognize and appreciate each child's individuality without drawing comparisons. Instead of focusing on who is better at what, we should celebrate each child's accomplishments and efforts in their own right. By acknowledging and valuing their unique qualities, we can foster a sense of self-worth and confidence in each child. Furthermore, when parents compare their children, it can create a sense of division and estrangement between siblings. They may start to view each other as rivals rather than allies, constantly vying for their parents' approval and attention. This can damage their bond and hinder their ability to form a strong, supportive relationship with one another.
  1. Comparing siblings can have detrimental effects on their self-esteem, relationship, and overall well-being. It is essential for parents to refrain from making comparisons and instead focus on nurturing each child's individuality and fostering a sense of unity and cooperation between siblings. By doing so, we can help our children grow into confident, secure individuals who are capable of forming healthy relationships with others.
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Siblings Without Rivalry

Adele Faber

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