Set clear expectations and boundaries from "summary" of Raising Human Beings by Ross W. Greene
Setting clear expectations and boundaries is a critical component of the Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) model. The concept may seem simple at first glance, but the devil is in the details. What does it mean to have clear expectations and boundaries? It means being specific about what you expect from your child in a given situation, and what the consequences will be if those expectations are not met. It's not enough to simply tell your child to behave or follow the rules. You need to clearly outline what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable, and what will happen if those boundaries are crossed. This requires a thoughtful and proactive approach to parenting, rather than a reactive one. When setting expectations and boundaries, it's important to involve your child in the process. This means having open and honest discussions about what is expected of them, and why those expectations are important. It also means being willing to listen to your child's perspective and be flexible when necessary. Clear expectations and boundaries provide a roadmap for your child to follow, giving them a sense of structure and predictability. This can help reduce anxiety and confusion, and ultimately lead to better behavior. It also sets the stage for effective problem solving when conflicts arise, as both you and your child will have a shared understanding of what is expected. Consistency is key when it comes to setting expectations and boundaries. If the rules are constantly changing or applied inconsistently, your child will become confused and frustrated. This can lead to power struggles and defiance, as your child tries to make sense of the ever-shifting landscape of expectations.- You can create a more harmonious and cooperative relationship with your child. This doesn't mean that conflicts won't arise, but it does provide a framework for resolving them in a respectful and collaborative manner. Ultimately, clear expectations and boundaries are a foundation for building trust and mutual respect between you and your child.
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