Be consistent in your approach from "summary" of Raising Human Beings by Ross W. Greene
Consistency in your approach means doing what you say you're going to do. It means that your expectations, rules, and consequences remain the same from one day to the next. Inconsistency is confusing and anxiety-provoking for kids. It makes them unsure about what's going to happen next. It makes them feel like they're walking on eggshells, never quite sure when the other shoe is going to drop. It makes them feel like the ground is constantly shifting beneath their feet. Consistency is especially important for kids who struggle with flexibility and frustration tolerance. These are the kids who have a hard time adapting to changes in plans or expectations. They rely on consistency to feel safe and secure in their environment. They need to know that the rules aren't going to change from one moment to the next.
Consistency doesn't mean that you can't be flexible. It doesn't mean that you can't take into account the unique needs and circumstances of each situation. It just means that the basic structure remains the same. It means that your overall approach remains consistent even as you make adjustments along the way.
Consistency is a key ingredient in building trust and rapport with your child. When your child knows that you're going to follow through on your promises, they're more likely to trust you. When they know that you're going to respond predictably to their behavior, they're more likely to feel safe and secure. When they know that you're going to be there for them, no matter what, they're more likely to open up to you and share their thoughts and feelings.
Consistency is hard. It's hard to remain calm and composed in the face of challenging behavior. It's hard to resist the temptation to give in when your child is throwing a tantrum. It's hard to stay the course when you're tired and stressed out. But it's worth it. It's worth it for your child's emotional well-being. It's worth it for your relationship with your child. It's worth it for your own sanity.
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