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Avoid using "I" statements that can trigger defensiveness from "summary" of Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss,Tahl Raz
When it comes to communication, one of the key points to remember is to avoid using "I" statements that can trigger defensiveness. This is because when we use "I" statements, it can often come across as accusatory and lead the other person to become defensive. This is especially true in high-stakes situations where emotions are running high, such as during negotiations. Instead of saying something like "I think you're wrong," which can put the other person on the defensive, try reframing your statement in a more neutral way. For example, you could say something like "It seems like there may be a misunderstanding here," which is less likely to trigger defensiveness in the other person. By using more neutral language, you can help keep the lines of communication open and prevent the situation from escalating. Another way to avoid triggering defensiveness is to focus on the other person's perspective rather than your own. Instead of making statements about what you think or feel, try to ask open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share their thoughts and feelings. This can help you gain a better understanding of where the other person is coming from and can make them feel heard and respected. In addition to avoiding accusatory "I" statements, it's also important to pay attention to your tone of voice and body language. Even if your words are neutral, if your tone is aggressive or your body language is closed off, it can still trigger defensiveness in the other person. By being mindful of your nonverbal cues and making an effort to convey empathy and understanding, you can help foster a more productive and collaborative conversation.- By being aware of the potential impact of "I" statements and taking steps to avoid triggering defensiveness, you can improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships with others. By focusing on the other person's perspective, asking open-ended questions, and being mindful of your tone and body language, you can create a more positive and effective dialogue that leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.
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