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Autonomy is essential for maintaining desire from "summary" of Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel
Autonomy, the freedom to act independently, is the lifeblood of desire within a relationship. When individuals are able to maintain a sense of self within the confines of a partnership, desire flourishes. This autonomy is not about independence in the traditional sense, but rather the ability to retain a sense of identity and agency while also being intimately connected to another person. In relationships where autonomy is lacking, desire often wanes. When one partner feels suffocated or controlled, their sense of self diminishes, leading to a loss of desire. This can manifest in a variety of ways, from decreased sexual attraction to emotional distance and resentment. Without the space to be oneself and pursue individual interests, the spar...
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