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Autumn feels conflicted from "summary" of If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin

Autumn's emotions were a tangled mess, a chaotic whirlwind of conflicting feelings that she couldn't quite untangle. On one hand, she felt a deep sense of longing, a yearning for something - or someone - that she couldn't quite put into words. It was a feeling that gnawed at her insides, a constant ache that never quite went away. But alongside that longing was a sense of fear, a hesitancy that held her back from fully embracing those feelings. She was afraid of what might happen if she allowed herself to fully explore those emotions, to let herself be vulnerable and open to the possibility of getting hurt. It was a terrifying thought, the idea of letting someone in and risking the pain that could come with it. And so she found herself caught in a struggle between her desire for connection and her fear of the unknown. But amidst all the confusion and uncertainty, there was also a glimmer of hope - a tiny spark of optimism that whispered to her that maybe, just maybe, things could turn out differently. Maybe she could find a way to navigate the murky waters of her emotions and come out on the other side stronger and more resilient. It was a fragile hope, easily overshadowed by her doubts and fears, but it was there nonetheless, a faint light in the darkness. And so Autumn found herself trapped in a constant battle, torn between her conflicting emotions and unsure of which way to turn. She was adrift in a sea of uncertainty, struggling to find her footing in the shifting sands of her own heart. But despite the turmoil that raged within her, she knew that she had to keep moving forward, even if it meant facing the unknown head-on. For in that struggle lay the possibility of growth and transformation, of finding her true self amidst the chaos and confusion of her emotions.
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    If He Had Been with Me

    Laura Nowlin

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