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Encouraging independence while maintaining connection is key from "summary" of Hold on to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld,Gabor Maté
To truly support our children in becoming independent individuals, we must strike a delicate balance between granting them autonomy and maintaining a strong connection with them. Encouraging independence is crucial for their growth and development, as it allows them to explore the world around them, make decisions, and take responsibility for their actions. However, this process must be accompanied by a deep sense of connection between parent and child, as it is this bond that provides the foundation for their emotional well-being and security. When we focus solely on fostering independence without nurturing the connection, we risk alienating our children and creating distance between us. This can lead to feelings of isolation and insecurity in our children, as they may feel unsupported and disconnected from us. On the other hand, when we prioritize connection above all else and smother our children with excessive control and supervision, we hinder their ability to develop their own sense of self and independence. It is essential to remember that independence and connection are not mutually exclusive concepts; rather, they are interdependent and complementary. By encouraging our children to become independent while maintaining a strong connection with them, we empower them to navigate the world with confidence and resilience. This approach allows them to feel secure in the knowledge that they have our unwavering support and guidance, even as they venture out on their own. As parents, our role is to provide a safe and nurturing environment that allows our children to explore their independence while knowing that we are always there for them. This involves setting boundaries and limits when necessary, but also giving them the freedom to make choices and learn from their experiences. By striking this balance between independence and connection, we can help our children grow into self-assured and capable individuals who are equipped to face the challenges of the world.
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