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People play psychological games unconsciously from "summary" of Games People Play by Eric Berne, MD
In the daily interactions of ordinary people, what is said and done is often not what it seems. Beneath the surface of polite conversation and casual exchanges lie hidden motives, unspoken desires, and unacknowledged fears. These hidden dynamics are the essence of psychological games—complex patterns of behavior that we engage in without conscious awareness. When we play these games, we are not consciously choosing our actions or words. Instead, we are driven by deeply ingrained patterns of behavior that have been shaped by our past experiences, beliefs, and emotions. These patterns are like invisible scripts that guide our interactions with others, leading us to repeat familiar roles and scenarios without questioning their underlying logic. In playing these games, we are often unaware of the impact they have on our relationships and our own well-being. We may find ourselves caught in destructive patterns of behavior that sabotage our efforts to connect with others or achieve our goals. We may become entangled in power struggles, manipulation, and emotional drama, all the while believing that we are simply reacting to the situation at hand. To break free from these unconscious games, we must first become aware of them. We must learn to recognize the hidden patterns that govern our interactions and understand the roles we are playing. By shining a light on these dynamics, we can begin to see the ways in which we are contributing to our own suffering and the suffering of those around us. As we become more conscious of our psychological games, we can make different choices. We can choose to step out of familiar roles and scripts, to communicate more openly and authentically, and to engage with others in a more honest and constructive way. By doing so, we can break free from the cycle of unconscious behavior and create more fulfilling and meaningful relationships.
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