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Overcoming obstacles to sexual pleasure from "summary" of Come As You Are: Revised and Updated by Emily Nagoski
In order to fully experience sexual pleasure, we must first acknowledge and address the obstacles that may be standing in our way. These obstacles can manifest in a variety of forms, such as physical discomfort, mental distractions, or emotional barriers. It is important to recognize that these obstacles are a normal part of the human experience, and that overcoming them is a process that requires patience and self-compassion. One common obstacle to sexual pleasure is the presence of stress in our lives. When we are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, our bodies go into "fight or flight" mode, which can inhibit our ability to relax and fully engage in sexual activity. By learning to manage our stress levels through techniques such as mindfulness or deep breathing, we can create a more conducive environment for pleasure to flourish. Another obstacle to sexual pleasure is the influence of societal norms and expectations. Many of us have been socialized to believe that sex should look and feel a certain way, which can create feelings of shame or inadequacy when our experiences do not align with these expectations. By challenging these beliefs and embracing our unique desires and preferences, we can cultivate a more fulfilling and authentic sexual life. Physical obstacles, such as pain or discomfort during sex, can also hinder our ability to experience pleasure. It is important to communicate openly with our partners about any physical issues we may be experiencing, and to seek professional help if necessary. By prioritizing our physical well-being and advocating for our own needs, we can create a more comfortable and pleasurable sexual experience.- Overcoming obstacles to sexual pleasure requires a willingness to be vulnerable and honest with ourselves and our partners. By cultivating a sense of self-awareness and self-compassion, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that are preventing us from fully embracing our sexuality. Through patience, communication, and a commitment to personal growth, we can create a more fulfilling and empowering sexual life.
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