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Focus on pleasure, not performance from "summary" of Come As You Are: Revised and Updated by Emily Nagoski
When it comes to sex, many of us have been taught to focus on performance rather than pleasure. We're told to worry about how we look, how long we last, whether we're doing it right. But this emphasis on performance can actually get in the way of enjoying sex. It puts pressure on us to meet certain expectations, instead of simply being present in the moment and experiencing pleasure for pleasure's sake. By shifting our focus from performance to pleasure, we can create a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience. Instead of worrying about how we look or what we're doing, we can pay attention to how our bodies feel, what sensations bring us pleasure, and what turns us on. This shift in mindset can help us let go of the need to perform and instead focus on simply enjoying ourselves. When we focus on pleasure, we can also let go of any unrealistic expectations we may have about sex. We can embrace the idea that sex doesn't have to be perfect to be enjoyable, and that it's okay to make mistakes or try new things. By embracing our own unique desires and preferences, we can create a more authentic and fulfilling sexual experience. Focusing on pleasure also allows us to be more present in the moment during sex. Instead of getting caught up in worries about performance, we can pay attention to the sensations in our bodies, the connection we feel with our partner, and the pleasure we're experiencing. This mindfulness can help us deepen our sexual experiences and feel more connected to ourselves and our partners.- Shifting our focus from performance to pleasure can help us enjoy sex more fully and authentically. By embracing pleasure for pleasure's sake, we can let go of unrealistic expectations, be more present in the moment, and create a more fulfilling sexual experience. So next time you find yourself worrying about how you look or what you're doing in bed, try shifting your focus to simply experiencing pleasure.
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