Audio available in app
Desire is not a drive from "summary" of Come As You Are: Revised and Updated by Emily Nagoski
Desire is not a drive. It's not a deep biological urge that pushes us inexorably in a particular direction. It's not a primal need that must be satisfied at all costs. Instead, desire is more like a delicate plant that needs the right conditions to thrive. It's influenced by a complex interplay of factors, including our emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences. Our culture often portrays desire as a powerful force that compels us to seek out sexual experiences. But in reality, desire is much more nuanced. It can be affected by a wide range of external and internal factors, from stress and fatigue to body image issues and relationship dynamics. And because desire is so multifaceted, it can vary greatly from person to person and even within the same individual at different times. Understanding that desire is not a drive can be empowering. It means that we have the ability to shape and influence our own desires, rather than being at the mercy of some uncontrollable force. By paying attention to the factors that influence our desire – both positive and negative – we can learn to cultivate a more fulfilling and authentic relationship with our sexuality. This perspective also challenges the idea that all people should experience desire in the same way. Just as our bodies and minds are unique, so too are our desires. What works for one person may not work for another, and that's perfectly okay. Rather than trying to conform to a one-size-fits-all model of desire, we can embrace our individuality and explore what brings us pleasure and fulfillment. In a world that often pressures us to conform to narrow standards of desirability, recognizing that desire is not a drive can be a radical act of self-acceptance. It invites us to reject harmful myths and stereotypes about sexuality and instead listen to our own inner voices. By honoring the complexity and diversity of desire, we can cultivate a more compassionate and authentic relationship with ourselves and others.
Similar Posts
Take control of your pleasure
To experience pleasure fully, you must be willing to take control of your own pleasure. This means being responsible for your s...
Practicing selflove and self-care in sexual experiences
In the realm of sexual experiences, it is crucial to prioritize self-love and self-care. This means being attuned to one's own ...
Humans have a diverse mating strategy
The idea that humans have a diverse mating strategy challenges the conventional wisdom that monogamy is the natural state for o...
Cultural differences influence mate preferences
Cultural differences play a significant role in shaping our preferences when it comes to choosing a mate. These differences can...
Embrace the diversity of human desires
In this ancient text, the idea of embracing the diversity of human desires is brought to light in a profound manner. The author...
Cultural beliefs shape sexual attitudes
Cultural beliefs play a significant role in shaping individuals' attitudes towards sex. These beliefs are deeply ingrained with...
Masturbation can be a valuable tool for selfdiscovery
Masturbation, often seen as a private and solitary act, can actually be a powerful tool for self-discovery. When you take the t...
Understanding female anatomy is crucial
To truly unlock the potential for mind-blowing pleasure and intense orgasms in a female partner, it is essential to have a deep...
Society's views on sex have evolved over time
Throughout history, society's perception of sex has undergone significant changes. In the past, sex was often viewed through a ...
Learning to control sexual energy can enhance emotional connection
Learning to control sexual energy is a key factor in enhancing emotional connection with a partner. When sexual energy is manag...