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Selfcompassion is not about self-pity or self-indulgence from "summary" of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff,Christopher Germer

Self-compassion is fundamentally different from self-pity and self-indulgence. Self-pity is more about feeling sorry for oneself and focusing on one's own problems in a way that can be self-absorbed and isolating. It's like being stuck in a victim mentality, where everything seems to be happening to you and you are powerless to change it. Self-compassion, on the other hand, involves recognizing that suffering is a part of the shared human experience. It's about acknowledging your pain with kindness and understanding, rather than getting wrapped up in a cycle of self-pity. Similarly, self-indulgence is about seeking pleasure and comfort at all costs, regardless of the consequences. It often involves overindulging in things that may feel good in the moment but are not ultimately in our best interest. Self-compassion, on the other hand, is about meeting our needs in a healthy and balanced way. It's about treating ourselves with the same kindness and care that we would offer to a good friend in times of need. Self-compassion is not about letting ourselves off the hook or avoiding responsibility. It's not about making excuses for our behavior or indulging in harmful habits. Instead, self-compassion involves taking responsibility for our actions and their consequences while also recognizing our inherent worth and humanity. It's about holding ourselves accountable in a way that is kind and supportive, rather than harsh and critical.
  1. Self-compassion is a balanced approach to dealing with ourselves and our challenges. It's about acknowledging our pain and suffering without getting lost in self-pity, and meeting our needs in a healthy way without falling into self-indulgence. By practicing self-compassion, we can cultivate a sense of inner strength and resilience that allows us to face life's difficulties with greater ease and grace.
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The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

Kristin Neff

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