Refrain from Comparing Your Child to Others from "summary" of 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do by Amy Morin
When you compare your child to others, you set them up for feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Whether you're pointing out how well-behaved another child is or how much faster another child can run, comparisons are a recipe for disaster. Your child is an individual, with unique strengths and weaknesses. When you compare them to others, you overlook their individuality. Your child will start to believe that they're not good enough, no matter how hard they try. They may start to resent the child you're comparing them to, or they may become angry with you for making the comparison in the first place. Comparing your child to others also sends the message that you value achievements and accolades more than you value them as a person. When you constantly highlight how much better another child is doing, you're telling your child that they're only as good as their latest accomplishment. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem. Your child may start to believe that they have to be the best at everything in order to be loved and accepted. They may become anxious and stressed, always striving for perfection.
Furthermore, comparisons can damage your relationship with your child. When they feel like they can never measure up to someone else, they may start to distance themselves from you. They may stop confiding in you or seeking your approval, fearing that they will never live up to your expectations. This can create a divide between you and your child, making it difficult to communicate and connect with each other. Instead of comparing your child to others, focus on their individual strengths and encourage them to be the best version of themselves. Celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how big or small. Show them that you love and accept them for who they are, not for how they stack up against someone else. By refraining from comparisons, you can help your child develop a healthy sense of self-worth and confidence.
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