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Understand your sexual brakes and accelerators from "summary" of Come As You Are: Revised and Updated by Emily Nagoski

Understanding your sexual brakes and accelerators is crucial in enhancing your sexual experiences. Your brakes are the things that slow down or stop your sexual response, while accelerators are the things that speed up or enhance your sexual response. These brakes and accelerators can be physical, emotional, or cognitive in nature. Physical brakes can include things like pain, fatigue, illness, or medication side effects. Emotional brakes can be stress, anxiety, past trauma, or relationship conflicts. Cognitive brakes are thoughts or beliefs that hinder sexual response, such as body image issues or performance pressure. Acknowledging and addressing your brakes is essential for overcoming obstacles to sexual pleasure. It is important to identify what triggers your brakes and work on minimizing their impact. This may involve seeking professional help, practicing relaxation techniques, or having open communication with your partner. On the other hand, understanding your accelerators can help you enhance your sexual response. Accelerators can be physical, emotional, or cognitive cues that increase arousal and desire. These can include things like physical touch, positive emotions, sexual fantasies, or feeling desired by your partner. Recognizing your accelerators and incorporating them into your sexual experiences can help you reach higher levels of pleasure and intimacy. It is important to explore what turns you on and communicate your desires with your partner. This can create a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual connection for both partners.
  1. You can improve your overall sexual well-being and satisfaction. Taking the time to explore these aspects of your sexuality can lead to a more pleasurable and fulfilling sex life.
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Come As You Are: Revised and Updated

Emily Nagoski

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